Please pardon this interruption...

Dear Justin Timberlake,

Just as I was not amused by R.Kelly comparing women to a Jeep, I am less than impressed with your latest Timbaland collaboration! It doesn't matter how great the beat is, and it is a really great beat and melody, the lyrics are STUPID! Any self-respecting woman is not going to approve of being referred to as a "carry-out", where you can "have it your way"! At first listen, I really thought this was supposed to be another SNL thing, like that Dick in a Box nonsense. It wasn't until I saw the video that I realized that this is a "real" song meant for radio play (of which it is getting plenty). Especially sad, since they are playing it on pop radio stations whose core audience is teenagers - another great message to the kids. And please, I am begging you, lose the 1970's prom tux! No matter how adorable you are, the ridiculous wardrobe does nothing for you!

Sincerely,
Anti-Fashionista

P.S. I loved you in Alpha Dog, you should really do more acting!

Celebrity Designers Round 1: Rappers

In this post, I am going to take a more in depth look at the phenomenon of "celebrity designers." There are actually several hundred, but we don't really have that kind of time! Besides, I've never heard of half of them. If you want to see them all, check out this list.

As you all know, you can't walk into a store, from Bloomingdales to Wal-Mart, without crossing paths with a celebrity line of clothing, accessories, or shoes. I will be rating them on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the horribly done and 10 being as close to an actual fashion designer as a celebrity can get.

ROUND 1:

In the early 2000's, a rash of rappers launched clothing lines with their names attached. A few did well with it, most did not. (Ratings are based on my opinion, not how much money they may have made from sales.)

Celebrity - Sean Combs (P. Diddy, Puffy, Puff Daddy, whatever the hell he is calling himself this week)

Line - Sean John - Clothing, Accessories, Footwear, Fragrance

Established - 1998

Rating - 7

The reason Diddy doesn't score higher is because of the urban streetwear line (men's and women's). I personally find it tacky. However, the mens ready-to-wear line is fantastic! Classy, sophisticated, and stylish. As much as I don't love a denim three piece suit (streetwear line), I do love a tailored three piece suit (ready-to-wear). I don't love everything that he puts on the runway, but the effort is there and it is comparable to the "real" designers. Even some of the streetwear is tolerable...when his name isn't plastered all over it!

Celebrity - Nelly

Line - Apple Bottom Jeans - Clothing, Accessories, Footwear, Fragrance 

Established - 2003

Rating - 1

This line is a big mess! I understand guys like a girl with a great butt, but do we really need to exploit ourselves by comparing our rears to a piece of fruit? NO! They say they are a "lifestyle brand" that caters to all body types. Great. Now, how about getting that bedazzled fruit off my ass!?!

Please note, that the apple on the butt is not the worst part of this line! The tag on the zipper placket says "Sweet to the Core." Great message to send to your teenage consumers! 

***I bet you now have that dumbass song about "boots with fur" stuck in your head...and if you didn't, you do now! You're welcome!***

Celebrity - Russell Simmons (Original Hip-Hop Mogul)

Line - Phat Farm - Clothing, Accessories, Footwear, Fragrance

Established - 1992

Rating - 8

I like Russell Simmons, and I, for the most part, like what he did with Phat Farm. He was at the forefront of this entire celebrity designer trend. Even during the denim suit trend, he kept it clean (for the most part) and didn't go overboard with logos (there were a lot of logos, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't as bad as most brands in this category). I really like the preppy twist with the argyle sweaters and pastel polos. Mr. Simmons is an extremely business savvy fellow, who totally understands is core consumer. His knowledge of the hip-hop world allowed him to produce a clothing line that would be well accepted in that community. The company was sold in 2004, and Mr. Simmons stepped down in 2007, but the brand remains successful today even under the new ownership. I have rated him the highest in this category because he built a reputable business, understood who his customer was, and successfully made it through over a decade with attractive clothing.

This post is ONLY referring to the mens line of Phat Farm, not the Baby Phat label run by his ex, Kimora Lee Simmons (I'll get to that one in a later post). 

Celebrity - 50 Cent

Line - G-Unit - Clothing, Accessories, Footwear, Fragrance

Established - 2003

Rating - 3

The only reason this rating isn't lower is because 50 was at least smart enough to team up with Marc Ecko (founder of Ecko Unlimited) to develop his clothing line. However, the actually clothing never went too far beyond slapping the G-Unit logo on a piece from Ecko's line. Not a whole lot of creativity here. BORING!

Celebrity - Jay-Z

Line - Rockawear - Clothing, Accessories, Footwear

Established - 1999

Rating - 5

Jay-Z is a smart business man, and I respect him for that. Although he sold the rights to Rocawear in 2007, he  retained a stake in the company and oversees marketing, product development, and licensing. Rocawear can be a little tacky, especially when over-logoed like so many of the brands listed above. However, like Sean John and Phat Farm, there is also a line of "real" clothing that can be worn by anyone. Some of the stuff is even cute!

This concludes Round 1 of Celebrity Designers! More to come! Next up, Pop Stars...

I'm BAAAAAAAACK!!!

Sorry for the extended delay in posts. I have recently graduated from college with a BA in Fashion Marketing and am now on a massive job hunt. Anyway, that's no excuse...fashion waits for no man...or woman, as the case may be.

Today we are going to discuss the phenomenon of everybody being a designer. People who have no business "designing" clothes, since they are completely unable to coordinate their own wardrobes. Specifically, the topic of this post is Avril Lavigne. However, there are many, many, many more that fit in this category.

On a recent trip to Kohl's, I was disgusted, yet mesmerized by the pieces in her, so called, collection. Not one of these pieces should have ever made it past the design stage of the process. ***PHOTO Left: Pants meant for teens***

Now, I know that little Ms. Lavigne is not sitting at the drawing table designing this stuff herself, but she does claim that she has a say in what is produced. NOBODY in their right mind should approve of this crap! I understand the eighties made a come-back...but this stuff wouldn't have even been cool in the neon haze of 1986. ***PHOTO Right: Rainbow/leopard print Members Only style jacket***

I'd ask who is buying this crap, but I'm guessing the answer is nobody! I found all of these pieces on the 70% or 90% off racks! The dress to the left is a strapless, polyester number in black and pink leopard print. That apparently wasn't tacky enough, so they threw a few'Abbey Dawn' (the name of Avril's line) logos mixed into the print. I'm all for self expression and alternative dress, but there is a HUGE difference between self expression and a complete fashion disgrace!

I promise this will not be the last post on this topic. There are so many examples of non-fashion industry folks crossing over into the design world. Some of them do it very well (Gwen Stefani) and others, not so much (see above).

Post your thoughts below in the comments section. Which celebs do you think have done the fashion design thing well, and who do you think completely flopped?

Proof that you really can't change a man!

Okay, so I'm slacking on finishing my Oscar post - mostly because I was already a week late and was pretty sure nobody cared what I had to say at that point. So, I'm moving on to a headline that really bothers me.

"Sandra Bullock Marriage Trouble: Jesse James Affair, Cheating With Michelle Bombshell McGee"

Sandra Bullock is not only one of my favorite actresses, but she was thought to have done what so many girls hope they can accomplish...she tamed the bad boy!

That fairy tale came crashing to a quick halt this week when Queen Skank, aka
Michelle "Bombshell" McGee took whatever ounce of dignity she may have had and sold it to a tabloid by claiming an affair with Sandra's seemingly devoted hubby, Jesse James. Not only did she claim an affair, but she gave some outrageously raunchy details. Not that I would expect any less from this classy broad, but after the Tiger Woods scandal, who honestly wants to be the mistress? I can't imagine the mental stability of a woman who actually WANTS to be known as the "other woman". Celebrity arrogance + insecure attention-craving whore = embarrassing public tabloid-worthy sex scandal.

Not that there are many couples in Hollywood that I would say this about, but I really thought (and hoped) that these two were the real deal! Being a fan of Jesse James long before he was Mr. Sandra Bullock, I was thrilled when he hooked up with the spunky gal from Northern Virginia! It seemed an odd match, but they seemed truly smitten with each other. As recently as her speech for her Best Actress Oscar win two weeks ago, she was a doting wife. I hate to use such a corny phrase given her latest movie, but I have a feeling she was completely blind-sided by this revelation of infidelity. The man even teared up during her speech - I thought it was because he was so touched by what she was saying, but now realize that they were tears of guilt, not of happiness!

Although I have no desire to give the tramp any additional seconds in her quest for 15 minutes, I feel the need to call her out! As many of you know, I love Kustom Kulture, I love tattoos, and I love pin-up girls. DO NOT let this girl fool you, she is not included in any of those categories, at least as far as I'm concerned. She's no better than the characters that pose in Hustler! The press (tabloids) like to call her a tattoo model...she's not. She's a tramp with a lot of tattoos, albeit dumb tattoos, but tattoos nonetheless (she has "pray for us sinners" written on her forehead, "trophy girl" on her stomach, and some supposed white-power tribute somewhere on her body, oh - and the leopard print on her left forearm is just dumb). If you were at all unsure if she has even a smidgen of class, you can put your concerns to rest by checking out her twitter account...the name she chose for herself is...wait for it...@EvilCunt! Seriously? Who does that? She's a flippin' idiot and I have no doubt in my mind that she threw herself at Jesse James knowing damn well he was married at the time. Don't get me wrong, he is even more at fault because he's the one that took the vows in the first place. But she had sex with a man who was in a public relationship...she knew damn well what she was doing! He can use all the "we're separated" or "it's all for show" or whatever other excuses he wants, she knew he was married, she did it anyway, and then as soon as Sandra accomplishes the extraordinary feat of winning a Best Actress Oscar, she runs straight to the tabloids to cash in!

Please note that this is a one-time occurrence, and I don't plan on being a celebrity gossip blogger. This site will remain about fashion and the fashion industry. I did feel like this one needed to be addressed though. I feel terrible for Sandra. She's supposed to be enjoying her big win right now, not canceling appearances in London because her husband couldn't keep it in his pants! I really liked them as a couple too! I hope that most of Skankalicious's claims are untrue...unfortunately, I don't think that is the case, since Jesse James has already issued a public apology, but it's nice to hope!

This is my plea to the tabloids to STOP paying these crazies for their "exclusive" story of affairs with famous married men (ie. actors, athletes, politicians, etc...). If they think there is something in it for them, they will continue with their whore-rific behavior. They will continue to seek fame from it (not that I'll ever understand the desire to be known solely for slutty behavior). They will continue to ruin careers and we, as the public, will have to continue to endure the media surrounding each scenario. As long as there are men, there will be affairs (can you tell I've been cheated on a time or two?). However, that should be between the couple and the other person involved, not the entire American (or international, depending on the case) public! Yes, I do believe that almost everybody in Hollywood cheats...I just think that most of them aren't cheating with psychopathic fame-whores!

***Just to clarify - I do not often hold the other woman accountable for the affair, as she has probably been lied to, taken advantage of, or flat-out conned! I do, however, hold the other woman accountable in instances of celebrity cheating...the relationship is public and even if he's lying to you about the status of that relationship, you're an idiot if you believe him!

Seriously, I really despise this chick...NASTY!!! Leave the tattoo modeling to the pros...Sabina Kelley has more class in her pinky-finger than this monstrosity has in her entire being! Alright, I'm done now!

Men - JUST SAY "NO" TO SLUTS!

Oscar Fashion

Sorry this is so late! I was out of town, and was just now finally able to see the shows I DVRed while on vacation! 


The first thing I noticed about the red carpet fashions at the Oscars was that every dress looked like it was from the designer it was from. No surprises. Not one. 


Biggest Disappointment - Armani Prive for doing the same thing over and over again...
It's bad enough that Jennifer Lopez and Amanda Seyfried got their dresses off the same assembly line, but it's worse that they were made from the bubble wrap that Lady Gaga's spike star came wrapped in!

 


To be continued....